10 QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER BEFORE ASKING YOUR PASTOR TO LEAVE

In working with Pastors and Churches I’ve come to understand the relationship between a Shepherd and some of his flock sometimes can be fraught with challenge. In most cases it’s not the entirety of the congregation, often it’s just a handful of prominent or influential folk who exert their will and opinion over the congregation.

Let me say this-sometimes it is appropriate to inquire about a Pastor’s tenure. If he’s lost vision, if he’s lazy and negligent, if he is derelict or deficient in his biblical duties, a congregation and its leaders are right to bring pointed conversations about the relationship between pastor and people and his employ.

More often transition scenarios play like a scratchy old vinyl record, the tune familiar, the static painful to the ear. A Pastor, who has done no moral wrong, who has faithfully - according to his gifting and ability - sought to lead and pastor his people is forced out. Beware the danger of such a move - the church may not ever fully recover from a wrongful forced termination. 

Dear Church Member/Leader, before you inquire about your Pastor’s tenure, before you think of raising the subject with others I have ten questions to ask you - please sit with and answer them.  If this article has found you too late, if the Pastor is still occupying the office, stop seeking his dismissal, perhaps reverse course and make sure you’ve walked through these inquiries personally. 

Have you earnestly prayed for him?
Not always but often I’ve discovered congregants are quick to criticize but slow to pray for their Shepherds. A Pastor has a difficult job, his influence and work are 100% relational, he can’t force, coerce or demand you be obedient, submissive to the Lordship of Christ, he has to teach the scriptures and appeal to you to die to self, pick up your cross daily and follow Jesus. He’s asking you to do something your flesh hates-be sure you’re not pushing him out because you’re convicted of sin or disobedience.

Have you pursued Christlikeness?
Dear church member, do you know that you are personally responsible for your own spiritual maturity? Are you humbly and actively pursuing Jesus and surrendering more and more of your life to his Lordship? Are you demonstrating the fruit of the Spirit? Are you demonstrating Christian love? 

Have you laid down your preferences?
Sometimes I feel like my head is about to explode when I hear church members and attenders freely voice their opinions and preferences regarding worship styles, sermon styles, programming preferences with a critical spirit. If we’re not careful we may find ourselves spending more time talking about what we like or don’t like rather than about the greatness of the Gospel and the magnificent goodness of Jesus. 

Have you contended for unity?
A hallmark of the early church was their unity in the midst of their diversity. Jews, Gentiles, Political Activists and former Government Agents shared meals, ministry assignments and fellowshipped at the feet of Jesus. Unity doesn’t come easily-it has to be pursued and guarded. Unity in the church must be based on Jesus and the mission he gave to the church. Are you working for unity? Are you living on mission? Often, those among us who are bored or disengaged from missional work can develop critical spirits and can find themselves on the offensive against Pastors.

Have you confronted and rebuked fellow congregants?
Our spiritual journey is not a solo adventure. We are called to bear one another’s burdens, encourage and exhort one another and even offer and receive rebukes from each other. Sadly, we’ve lost the ability to give and receive firm and strong words of warning and exhortation to each other. Perhaps your words of warning and correction are misdirected toward the Shepherd and should be rightly exercised within the body, or perhaps directed towards self. Maybe, someone needs to rebuke your actions, words and attitudes-would you be ready to receive it? 

Have you given double honor?
Pastors don’t choose their vocation to become rich, neither did they hope to be impoverished or struggle week after week and month after month to make ends meet. Some pastors by choice work a second vocation, some by necessity. I’ve seen churches with thousands in reserves, deposited at the bank whose pastors struggle to meet their families basic needs. Frankly, that reality is to your shame - if your church can afford to pay more but simply decides not to do so. Adding your criticism to low pay is demoralizing, disheartening and defeating to your Shepherd. 

Have you encouraged him specifically?
The Sunday greeting line where Pastor and People connect typically involves the exchange of niceties and bits of information-this common exchange resounds regularly; “Nice sermon Pastor.” The preacher’s regular work in teaching/preaching is an exhausting endeavor. He wonders; “Is this hitting home? Is this connecting? Is the Lord using this to draw all of us closer to him?” One way to measure is the feedback loop-what are people saying? “Nice sermon” is like saying fine when someone asks how you are doing-not extremely helpful. Instead, share something specifically that impacted you from the morning message. Better yet, offer the best feedback of all by applying God’s word in your life in a way that leads to transformed living-and bear verbal witness to the changes the Spirit is working in your life.

Have you compared him to other Preachers?
Your pastor preaches like he preaches - he won’t, can’t and shouldn’t compare to or be like another preacher. Even a preacher you admire from a podcast or the television, or even one in your home town area. You can always find someone who, in your opinion, says or does something better. But remember this, we are called to be Christians committed to a local congregation, not consumers of Christian services.

Are you working to build up the church?
I want to say this as clearly as possible - God is the one who builds his church. If your church grows it’s because God is making that happen. Let me also say this - he does that through us as Christians who belong to that specific congregation. The Pastor, like us, plays a part in what God does to grow a church. As we invite others, share the gospel, disciple people and engage in mercy ministries God may use those efforts to grow our local church numerically - he also may not grow our numbers as we would like. I do know this - putting the entirety of the burden to grow the church on a single Pastor is wrong. Perhaps your church isn’t growing because you’re not playing your part. 

Have you considered leaving with integrity?
It could be time for you to leave the church you’re attending rather than asking the Pastor to leave. Maybe you need some time in a new setting to grow in a different way. Perhaps God wants to use your gifts elsewhere where they are needed. Maybe, he’s calling you away to show you that the church served by your Pastor isn’t as bad as you might think. Maybe you are the one who needs to leave - if you do, please do so with as much integrity and good will as you can muster. Love everyone as you say goodbye, bless them and then be off to your new church adventure.


QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

1. Which question challenged you most?
2. Is God calling you to a step of obedience? What specific action do you need to take?​
3. Are you being called to stay at your local congregation or to depart?