 (Translation by David Quiora - Replant Team, North American Mission Board)
Querido Don controlador , El declive de la iglesia crea un vacío Cuanto más tiempo ha estado en declive una iglesia, es menos probable que quede líderes fuertes y visionarios en los bancos. Lo intentaron. Hablaron. Ofrecieron ideas y energía. Pero fueron ignorados, resistidos o atacados. Finalmente, se fueron. A menudo se trata de líderes capaces en su vida profesional: personas que lideran equipos, resuelven problemas y toman decisiones todos los días. Luchan sus batallas en el trabajo. No quieren pelear con los mismos en la iglesia. Su expectativa es simple: los seguidores de Cristo deben unirse en torno a la misión, no especializarse en los menores. Así que se escabullen silenciosamente. Y cuando lo hacen, sucede algo crítico: el equilibrio de influencia cambia. El ascenso de los controladores Cuando los líderes sanos se van, los controladores se apresuran a llenar el vacío. No son visionarios; son guardianes de lo familiar. Bajo el noble estandarte de "proteger y preservar la iglesia", toman el control de los comités, los presupuestos y las decisiones, y se aferran a ese control por su vida. Lo llaman fidelidad. Pero en realidad es miedo. En verdad, lo que están preservando no es el evangelio, es comodidad y control. La mayoría de los miembros de una iglesia en declive no se resisten intencionalmente a la misión. Simplemente quieren un lugar seguro y predecible para adorar, estudiar su Biblia y disfrutar del compañerismo. Anhelan estabilidad. Pero con el tiempo, la comodidad se convierte en la misión. La gente nueva trae nuevas ideas. Las nuevas ideas traen cambios. Y el cambio se siente como una pérdida. Así que la iglesia ora por el crecimiento mientras rechaza silenciosamente las mismas cosas que podrían traerlo. El controlador espiritualizado El controlador más peligroso no es el ruidoso ni el obvio. Es el espiritual, la persona que oculta el control en un lenguaje piadoso. Dicen todas las cosas correctas:
Pero detrás de escena, manipulan, presionan y dirigen los resultados a su manera. Dominan las discusiones, influyen en los votos, zumban y agotan a los que quieren un diálogo significativo, despliegan el veto de bolsillo mientras socavan silenciosamente cualquier cosa que amenace su posición o traiga progreso. En una consulta reciente, conocí a un hombre así. Dijo todas las cosas correctas y sonó profundamente espiritual. Sin embargo, su comportamiento contó una historia diferente. Otro consultor que había trabajado con la misma iglesia me dijo claramente: "Esa iglesia nunca crecerá hasta que él quite las manos de todo o el Señor lo mueva". Esa no es una situación rara. Es una tragedia recurrente. Los controladores de complicidad de la Congregación solo prosperan porque la gente se lo permite. La mayoría de los miembros de la iglesia no son controladores, simplemente están cansados. Han visto conflictos antes y no quieren otra ronda. Así que permanecen en silencio. Se llevan bien. Pero el silencio es complicidad. Al no hacer nada, lo entregan todo. La congregación puede orar sinceramente por la renovación, pero la oración sin coraje y confrontación simplemente bautiza el status quo. El declive continúa, los líderes permanecen en silencio y el controlador sigue dirigiendo el barco, directamente hacia las rocas. Cuando solo Dios puede quitarlos Aveces, solo Dios puede quitar un controlador. Y lo hace, por convicción, por circunstancias o por moverlos a otra parte. Pero hasta que eso suceda, la iglesia permanece estancada.
Porque la misión de Jesús vale más que el sentido de control de cualquiera. Una última palabra para el " Don Controlador " Si ese eres tú, el que insiste en que solo quieres la voluntad de Dios mientras te aseguras de que todo salga como quieres, si crees que sabes más, si dices una cosa pero en realidad no lo dices en serio, es hora de arrepentirte, soltar tu control o vete de la iglesia. La iglesia de Dios no es tuya para administrarla. Es de El para liderar. Y a cada miembro cansado y líder tímido: dejen de permitir el control. Di la verdad. Avanza. La iglesia no necesita más controladores. Necesita más coraje. En pocas palabras: cuando los controladores gobiernan la iglesia, la misión muere. Cuando Cristo gobierna, la iglesia vive de nuevo. Cuando los controladores gobiernan la iglesia
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 Church Decline Creates a Vacuum
The longer a church has been in decline, the less likely it is to have strong, visionary leaders left in the pews. They tried. They spoke up. They offered ideas and energy. But they were ignored, resisted, or attacked. Eventually, they left. These are often capable leaders in their professional lives — people who lead teams, solve problems, and make decisions every day. They fight their battles at work. They don’t want to fight the same ones in church. Their expectation is simple: Christ-followers should unite around mission, not major on the minors. So they quietly slip away. And when they do, something critical happens — the balance of influence shifts. The Rise of the Controllers When healthy leaders exit, controllers rush in to fill the void. They’re not visionaries; they’re guardians of the familiar. Under the noble-sounding banner of “protecting and preserving the church,” they seize control of committees, budgets, and decisions — and they hold on to that control for dear life. They call it faithfulness. But it’s really fear. In truth, what they’re preserving isn’t the gospel — it’s comfort and control. Most members in a long-declining church aren’t intentionally resistant to mission. They simply want a safe and predictable place to worship, study their Bible, and enjoy fellowship. They long for stability. But over time, comfort becomes the mission. New people bring new ideas. New ideas bring change. And change feels like loss. So the church prays for growth while quietly rejecting the very things that could bring it. The Spiritualized Controller The most dangerous controller isn’t the loud or obvious one. It’s the spiritual one — the person who cloaks control in pious language. They say all the right things:
But behind the scenes, they manipulate, lobby, and steer outcomes their way. They dominate discussions, influence votes, they drone on and one exhausting those who want meaningful dialouge, they deploy the pocket veto all the while quietly undermining anything that threatens their position or brings progress. In a recent consultation, I met such a man. He said all the right things and sounded deeply spiritual. Yet his behavior told a different story. Another consultant who’d worked with the same church told me plainly: “That church will never grow until he either takes his hands off everything or the Lord moves him on.” That’s not a rare situation. It’s a recurring tragedy. The Congregation’s Complicity Controllers only thrive because people let them. Most church members aren’t controllers — they’re simply tired. They’ve seen conflict before and don’t want another round. So they stay silent. They go along to get along. But silence is complicity. By doing nothing, they hand over everything. The congregation may sincerely pray for renewal, but prayer without courage and confrontation simply baptizes the status quo. Decline continues, leaders stay silent, and the controller keeps steering the ship — right into the rocks. When Only God Can Remove Them Sometimes, only God can remove a controller. And He does — through conviction, through circumstance, or by moving them elsewhere. But until that happens, the church remains stuck.
It doesn’t have to be that way. God can and does revive His church — but revival always begins with repentance. Controllers must release their grip. Members must find their voice. And leaders must stand up and lead, even when it costs them. Because the mission of Jesus is worth more than anyone’s sense of control. A Final Word to “Mr. Controlly McControlerton” If that’s you — the one who insists you only want God’s will while ensuring everything still goes your way — if you believe you know better, if you say one thing but don't really mean it, it’s time to repent, release your grip or leave the church. God’s church isn’t yours to manage. It’s His to lead. And to every weary member and timid leader: stop enabling control. Speak truth. Lead forward. The church doesn’t need more controllers. It needs more courage. Bottom line: When controllers rule the church, the mission dies. When Christ rules, the church lives again.  When a pastor leaves, most churches feel the same pressure: “We’ve got to find someone—fast.” A search committee forms, a job listing is posted, and résumés, lots of them, begin to roll in. Committee members get overwhelmed, Candidates grow impatient. After some time, the church “calls” someone who seems promising, or who hasn’t already accepted another position, or at worst-both the would be pastor and the desperate congregation choose each other in a relationship that may be destined for failure from the jump. Too often, the honeymoon between Pastor and People begins to fade by year three. Conflict, burnout, or disillusionment set in. Another resignation follows. Possibly another Pastor leaves the ministry. For the Church comes a year of interim ministry, another year of searching, and before you know it—six years have passed, and the church is right back where it started, searching. And, likely this time with fewer and more frustrated people. This isn’t a rare occurrence. Research from the Jim Henry Leadership Institute (New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary) places the average tenure of Southern Baptist pastors at about 3.5 to 4 years. In other words, many churches spend almost as much time recovering from a pastoral mismatch as they do being led by a pastor. It’s time to rethink our process. The Problem: Job Listings and Résumés Can’t Reveal Calling or Fit Posting a job listing and collecting résumés may work fine for hiring outside the church. But calling a pastor is not just an employment decision—it’s a spiritual discernment process. A résumé can tell you where someone has served, but not how they lead under pressure, how patient they will be with change resistant seniors, how fast they want to move, how they handle disagreement, or how they fit within a congregation’s culture and story. Likewise, a church’s website and bylaws might tell a candidate what the church does—but not what the people are really like, or what kind of health the body truly has. How and why their previous Pastor and the two or three before him left their post. A job posting won’t reveal how healthy or vibrant the congregation actually is or how many “controllers” or “gatekeepers” have navigated their way into positions of influence. A quick hire based on surface compatibility may bring short-term relief but long-term pain. Churches who rush the process, who are less transparent on the front end up with pastors who were never prepared for the church’s condition, and pastors find themselves in cultures that resist their leadership from day one. When the call process is reduced to an exchange of résumés, we risk bypassing the very thing the New Testament calls us to: spiritual discernment. The Necessity of Understanding a Church’s True Condition Before searching for a pastor, a church must take an honest look in the mirror:
If a church does not first understand its own condition, it can’t know what kind of pastoral leadership it needs. A church in conflict might require a patient healer. A plateaued church may need a visionary disciple-maker. A young congregation might need a stabilizing teacher. When a church seeks guidance and conducts a spiritual health assessment before launching a search, it begins to clarify its identity and readiness. That clarity helps ensure it calls not just a pastor, but the right pastor for this moment. The Danger of “Just Finding a Pastor” The pressure to “just find someone” is real. Members grow weary of transition. Attendance drifts. Giving declines. Leaders feel anxious. But haste in calling a pastor often leads to regret. Every rushed search carries hidden costs:
When churches allow urgency or fatigue to replace discernment, they trade temporary relief for long-term instability. “There’s a reason the Spirit led the church at Antioch to pray, fast, and wait before setting apart Barnabas and Saul” (Acts 13:2–3). The call of a pastor is too sacred to be rushed, too important to not be really clear on the health of the congregation and the kind of Pastor it needs (but may not want.) The Cost of the Cycle: Lost Time and Lost Momentum Let’s do the math: If the average pastor serves 3–4 years, and each departure triggers:
When this happens, every 3-year tenure produces roughly a 6-year down cycle before stable ministry returns. That’s six years where energy, trust, and momentum are drained instead of built. Multiply that over a generation, and it’s easy to see why many churches plateau or decline despite sincere effort. A Healthier Way Forward The solution isn’t complicated, but it does require courage, patience and humility. A healthy call process includes:
When churches and pastors discern together rather than hire hastily, they create the conditions for lasting ministry fruit. A Word to Churches and Candidates
Thinking Beyond the Traditional Search A Better Way to Find a Pastor If the standard “post-and-pray” method isn’t working, it’s time to rethink where and how we look for pastoral leaders. Rather than relying solely on job postings and résumé submissions, churches can take a more relational and Spirit-led approach to discovering their next pastor. 1. Ask Your Denominational Leaders Associational Mission Strategists, State Convention Staff, and trusted denominational partners often know pastors, planters, or ministry leaders who are ready for a new assignment or who fit the kind of leader your church needs. These leaders see patterns across many congregations and can often recommend candidates who would never apply online but who might be a perfect fit. 2. Network with Healthy Churches Ask pastors of strong, healthy congregations if they have team members or associates who may be ready to step into a lead role. Churches that are developing leaders are often glad to see those leaders deployed into struggling or plateaued congregations where they can make an impact. 3. Seek Out Churches with Pastoral Residencies Many churches invest in training and preparing future pastors through residency programs. Reaching out to those congregations allows your search team to connect with candidates who have already been mentored, evaluated, and tested in real ministry environments. 4. Look Within Your Own Congregation Sometimes God is already raising up your next pastor from within your own fellowship. A faithful lay leader, staff member, or ministry volunteer may demonstrate spiritual maturity, character, and gifting that indicate a call to pastoral leadership. Don’t overlook those God has been preparing right under your roof. 5. Above All, Pray and Seek God’s Direction No process, search tool, or network replaces prayer. The call of a pastor is a sacred connection that only God can orchestrate. Ask Him to align hearts, reveal motives, and connect the right candidate and congregation at the right time. When churches pursue relationship over résumés, discernment over data, and prayer over pressure, they position themselves to find not just a pastor—but God’s pastor for their next chapter. The health of a church and the longevity of its pastor are not determined by who gets hired first, but by how deeply both parties listen to the Spirit before committing. A prayerful, honest process may take longer—but it bears fruit that lasts. “We proclaim Him, warning and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone mature in Christ. I labor for this, striving with His strength that works powerfully in me.” — Colossians 1:28–29  I talk with a lot of declining churches. They’ve seen better days — the sanctuary once full, the baptistry once stirred, the sound of kids running the halls replaced by the echo of silence. And now, after years of slow decline, the conversation turns toward hope:
“We need a new pastor.” But what they usually mean is:
The assumption is that decline is primarily a leadership style problem — that if they can just find the right kind of pastor, the church will start growing again. But here’s the truth: You don’t just need a new pastor. You need a Spirit-guided, biblically grounded, missionally minded shepherd who will lead you to follow Jesus, engage your community with the gospel, and make disciples — not just attenders. And that means something hard but hopeful: You need a pastor who will lead you to believe what you haven’t believed, surrender what you’ve clung to, and follow Christ more fully than you ever have before. The Pastor You Need Will Make You Uncomfortable. Let’s be honest — most churches in decline didn’t get there overnight, and they didn’t get there by accident. Decline is almost always spiritual before it’s numerical. It’s the slow drift from mission to maintenance, from gospel urgency to personal comfort. So the pastor you truly need will not exist to make you comfortable. He won’t just affirm what you already love. He’ll call you to repentance, challenge your assumptions, and confront your idols — because Jesus doesn’t build His church through comfort, but through the cross. A faithful pastor will remind you that following Jesus means dying to self, taking up your cross, and walking in obedience, even when it’s hard. That means there will be Sundays when you don’t “like” church. You might not like what you hear. You might feel convicted. You might be asked to give more, serve more, forgive more, and love more deeply than you ever have before. But those are the very marks of revival. Because God doesn’t send revival to the comfortable — He sends it to the surrendered. You Need a Shepherd Who Will Lead You to Follow Jesus Again. The church you long to become will not be reborn through clever programs or the perfect hire. It will be reborn through repentance and renewal — through the power of the Word of God, the work of the Spirit, and a people willing to be led. You need a pastor who will:
That kind of pastor will not simply be a chaplain to your preferences. He will be a shepherd to your souls — leading you into obedience, prayer, evangelism, and gospel-driven unity. The Real Question: Are You Willing to Be Led? Every church says they want a “good leader,” but few are willing to be led. It’s one thing to hire a pastor; it’s another to follow one. If you want God to bring life again, you must be willing to follow where He leads — even when it means:
The kind of pastor who can lead you there won’t always make you comfortable. But he will confront you to be more Christlike. And that’s what your church needs most. Hope for the Church That’s Willing Here’s the good news: Jesus loves His church — even the declining ones. He is still the Head, still the Builder, still the One who brings life from death. He raises up shepherds for His sheep, not to preserve what was, but to lead toward what can be — a renewed people, walking in obedience, proclaiming His gospel, and making disciples to the ends of the earth.
Because the church that dies to itself is the church Christ will raise again.  Paul’s words here hit home for anyone who carries the weight of shepherding multiple churches. This isn't a theoretical concern—it's a gritty, soul-deep, all-consuming burden. Not because we’re saviors, but because we care. Deeply. And when you're an Associational Leader, you're not just a bystander; you're on the front lines.
The Role Few See But Many Rely On Let’s be clear: no one signs up to be an Associational Mission Strategist or Director of Missions because it’s easy. We do it because we're called to contend for healthy churches. That means:
It’s messy, misunderstood, underappreciated work. And it’s holy ground. We Are Not the Savior—Jesus Is The good news? You don’t have to die for the church. Jesus already did. Your role isn’t to be crucified—your role is to be faithful. Faithful to show up. Faithful to speak truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Faithful to challenge complacency (Titus 2:15). Faithful to encourage the faint-hearted (1 Thessalonians 5:14). Faithful to rebuke when necessary (2 Timothy 4:2). Faithful to call them back to the mission (Matthew 28:19-20). You’re Not Alone in the Pressure If Paul felt the weight of the churches daily, you can bet we’re going to feel it too. It’s part of the calling. But here’s the key: you can’t carry this pressure alone. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9 This pressure we carry is a privilege, but it’s also a reminder: we need His power. We need His Spirit. We need His Word. And we need each other. Let’s not fool ourselves into thinking grit alone will sustain us. We need grace. Daily. Hourly. Moment by moment. Stay the Course—God Sees To every Associational Leader driving across counties, walking into conflict-heavy rooms, challenging churches stuck in the past, cheering for bivocational pastors, and giving another yes when your tank is low: God sees you. “God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people.” — Hebrews 6:10 He sees your labor. He hears your prayers. He honors your faithfulness. So, What Now?
You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. You’re not wasting your time. Keep showing up. Keep telling the truth. Keep pointing churches to Jesus and His mission. And remember: the church doesn’t rest on your shoulders. It rests on His.  Replant-Revitalization Reality: In many declined congregations, at least one significant “battle” must be fought in the war of moving the church forward toward health. Revitalizer/replanter don’t back down, resolve to stand, God will direct and protect.
Recently I toured the World War II Museum in New Orleans, Louisiana. It is a fantastic destination and extremely well put together. As you walk through the exhibits, you’ll be struck by the extraordinary sacrifices from everyday folks in an effort to protect and defend freedom and democracy. Lives lost, countless cities wrecked and the indelible marks of conflict are preserved for all to see, understand and learn. Of the many takeaways from our time there, one stands out to me: The outcome of one decisive battle can set the stage for the war to be won. On its own, a battle may seem like one of any number of conflicts in an overall war, yet a victory or defeat in one decisive battle may lead to ultimate victory or loss. Battles in the church often follow this pattern. Let’s define battle: one conflict in any number of conflicts, large or small, occurring in the church, which by itself will not lead to the church’s demise but whose outcome contributes to the overall trajectory of the church. These battles can lean toward health or vitality; they also can hasten decline or even demise. In a declined church, one which has exhibiting trend lines of decline for decades, battles like these are usually common. The casualties have included lay persons, leaders and likely pastoral staff and their families. In the church, no one welcomes or seeks out a battle; they know the costs are potentially high. Yet when a battle is brewing or underway, too many pastors and church members run. By nature, most folks within the church prefer peace. It’s understandable, in fact it is our calling: “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Rom. 12:18) Sometimes, to obtain real lasting peace, you must be willing to stand up when a battle threatens or takes place:
Sadly, each of these is a reality experienced by me or pastors I know. How should we respond in the face of battles like these? Don’t Ignore battles. As much as we’d like to put our head down in sermon prep, pastoral visitation or administrative tasks, conflicts like these never get better, only worse. You can’t sweep sinful behavior under the rug. It will only get worse. Pray for wisdom. One important truth to remember is that most of the time you are fighting against more than just differences of opinion and preferences. In dysfunctional churches, you are battling deficient discipleship, an errant view of pastoral authority, idolatry (the love of anything more than the love of God) and a host of other challenges. At their heart these are spiritual issues, and you need divine insight, patience and wisdom as you face them. Confront the Antagonists. Someone who disagrees with you is not automatically being an antagonist, but someone who rejects authority, ignores bylaws and process, someone who spreads gossip, lies and devises schemes in secret is not just a person who “sees” a church issue differently than you or the leaders do. A person like this is an antagonist and must be rebuked, confronted and corrected. Follow a biblical process. We have the blessing and benefit of the Scripture, which helps us understand the right ways for resolving conflicts when we experience them. Be biblical in your approach and follow any additional instructions that may be present in your bylaws. But know this: It’s never appropriate to ignore the Bible in favor of the bylaws, just as it’s not legal to ignore the bylaws altogether. Be brave, bold, and courageous. You and I likely were not trained how to do church conflict. If we served as interns, maybe we discussed it with a ministry mentor. But you only get real battlefield experience by actually being in some battles. When the conflict is intense or when battle signs grow ominous, don’t expect to not have concerns or even be afraid. If you respond that way, congratulations – you’re normal. But don’t run, back down, give in or give up. Be sure you are fighting the right battle. We’ve all had someone older and wiser exhort us to “pick” our battles and “not die on every hill.” They are right, but at the core, these statements acknowledge that sometimes it is appropriate to stand ground with conviction and engage in conflict. Not everything is worth battling for, but some things are. If you don’t stand when it’s needed, you’ll likely lose the war. I pray God gives you the wisdom, understanding and courage to lead strongly when you’re tempted to turn and head to safety. The church needs that from you, and God has placed you there for that very purpose. This original article, by Bob Bickford, was posted July 2023 on the NAMB Replanter's Blog Site.  Church revitalization is one of the most important, complex, and delicate processes a congregation can undergo. For declining churches longing for health and mission renewal, partnering with a consultant can be a wise step. But not all consultants are created equal — and the differences go deeper than you might think.
The Rise of the Pay-to-Certify Church Consultant: If you've spent any time researching church revitalization help online, or simply opened your social media or inbox, you’ve likely come across polished advertisements and websites offering to turn you into a “church consultant” — quickly, conveniently, and for a fee. The appeal is strong:
But beneath the glossy surface, something is often missing. Most often, there is no requirement for previous revitalization leadership experience. No vetting, no application process, just pay the fee and take the course. This certification model emphasizes convenience, speed, and marketability over hands-on wisdom, contextual intelligence, or spiritual discernment. Pay the fee, get the paper, put out your shingle, print some business cards, get a website and boom, you're a consultant ready to help churches and collect a fee. Is this wise? Is this helpful? Should it be done this way? In this post, we’ll explore two common types of revitalization consultants, weigh their strengths and weaknesses, and offer a clear recommendation for churches considering who to walk with during their journey of renewal, and a word to those who want to consult a church in need. Two Types of Church Revitalization Consultants 1. The Practitioner-Based Consultant: This consultant has personally led a church through revitalization or replanting. Often, they’ve also volunteered with a local Baptist association or their state convention to assist other churches in similar circumstances. Key Characteristics:
Advantages:
Potential Disadvantages of a Practitioner Consultant
These are not criticisms of their effectiveness, but rather practical considerations when evaluating the fit between a consultant and a church’s revitalization needs. 2. The Self Certified Consultant: This individual has completed a Church Revitalization certification course, typically through a for-profit ministry or organization. They have a strong interest or desire in Church Revitalization as a subject - they may be looking for extra income in an adjacent field. Key Characteristics:
Advantages
Disadvantages:
The Question of Motive: Why It Matters This is where we need to go deeper. Some revitalization certification programs advertise themselves as a way to generate personal income. The program is pitched as a side hustle or a ministry-business hybrid. The motivation then could become clouded. Your consultant is not just helping churches but making money off churches. If a Consultant’s goals includes financial benefit, it may impact how they engage with your congregation:
By contrast, a practitioner-based consultant — especially one serving through a state convention or local Baptist association — is rarely paid for their efforts. The network of churches support the consulting leaders or teams. Their motive is typically rooted in mission, not money. They serve because they believe in church health, gospel advance, and kingdom renewal. They see the church in need and want to help - their view is not profiting off the needy church. Their investment is often a labor of love, not a contract fee. Why Does This Matter? Because motive influences method. A consultant who serves from a non-compensation model is often more free to:
A Simple Recommendation (For the Church and the Would-be Consultant) If your church is exploring revitalization and looking for outside guidance, choose a consultant who has church renewal experience, who has been successful and lived the process, preferably one connected to your local Baptist association or state convention. (If your church is not an SBC church - check with your denomination or even call the local Baptists-they will often be glad to help) Look for someone who:
Church - avoid engaging someone who recently or simply purchased a certification, especially if their only engagement with revitalization is academic or incentivized by profit. The stakes are too high. Choose the Consultant who knows the terrain — not just the theory. Would-Be Consultant: You want to help churches? Great! Connect with your denomination either at the Local or State level and express the desire to learn. Then make the sacrifices to attend meetings, pray, listen more than talk, ask questions and read the best of recent resources from the real practitioners who are writing from their experience, not for commercial profit. Go to as many conferences as you can - a wide variety of them of course and learn all you can. Do this for at least 3 years, participate in at least 30 consultations as a learner and then, through careful reflection, with humility and prayer offer to help churches for free. Consultants Can Be Helpful There’s nothing wrong with paying for consultative services-but there’s a lot of heartache and also a lot of churches who waste kingdom resources on someone who, with the best of intentions, wants to be helpful but just isn’t.  “Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.” — Colossians 1:28–29
Pastors often bear deep and quiet wounds—delivered not by unbelievers or secular culture, but by controllers inside the church: bullies who manipulate, gatekeepers who withhold permission, and influencers who use history, money, or fear to halt gospel advancement. They may hide behind phrases like “We’ve never done it that way,” or “Others are concerned,” but their intent is clear—control, not Christ. Some pastors try to reason with these strongholds. They wait, hope, appease, avoid, and pray it will change. But over time, the roots of dysfunction grow deeper. Silence is misinterpreted as submission. Nice becomes naive. And the result? The mission is stifled. The flock is confused. The pastor is discouraged. And the body remains immature. Warning with Wisdom: Paul’s words in Colossians 1 are a call to bold, biblical shepherding. Maturity in Christ comes through proclaiming the gospel, warning everyone, and teaching with wisdom. This isn’t optional. It’s essential. Warning, when done wisely and lovingly, is not unkind—it’s Christlike. Jesus never coddled the religious bullies of his day. He confronted them, exposed their motives, and made it clear: the Kingdom would not be held hostage by those protecting their platform over God's purposes. Too often, churches have confused being nice with being Christian. But Christ was not crucified for his niceness—he was crucified for proclaiming truth, confronting sin, and disrupting the religious status quo. Pastors must do the same. Gospel compassion includes courage. Bullies Grow When Unchallenged: Bullies and gatekeepers don’t disappear on their own. In fact, when left unchallenged, they often become more emboldened. Their tenure becomes tradition. Their preferences become policy. Their threats become sacred cows. In Not Being Nice for the Sake of the Gospel, Bill Easum recounts example after example of churches and staff held hostage by one or two dysfunctional members. In each case, the leaders knew the person was harming the mission—but feared doing what was necessary to confront them. So they remained quiet. And the church remained stuck. Jesus never advocated such passivity. When the Temple was turned into a marketplace, Jesus didn’t call a meeting. He overturned tables. Not out of rage, but out of love. He saw that worship was being stolen from the people who needed it most. So he drove the thieves out. In churches today, the “thieves” often aren’t selling doves, but they’re selling comfort, familiarity, and control—at the cost of spiritual freedom and growth. Confront and Disempower for the Sake of the Gospel: The answer isn’t to play nice with the unreasonable. It’s to confront them biblically and remove their functional power. Matthew 18 provides a pathway: private confrontation, followed by witnesses, and finally, church-wide correction. If the individual refuses to repent, Jesus says to treat them as an outsider. This isn’t harsh—it’s holy. We must care more about their soul and the church’s mission than about preserving appearances. To be clear: confronting does not mean cruelty. But it does require courage. The gospel calls us to speak the truth in love, not to sidestep it in fear. Every time a leader chooses clarity over comfort, the church takes one step closer to health. Leaders Must Lead: If you're a pastor in this situation, it may be time to stop waiting for the bully to have a change of heart. You were not called to appease manipulators. You were called to proclaim Christ, warning and teaching with all wisdom, that you might present the church mature in Christ. That means being willing to confront the hard-hearted, call out the manipulative, and refuse to give spiritual authority to those who’ve long abused it. This is not about being unkind—it’s about being uncompromising when it comes to the freedom of God’s people. We don’t confront because we’re angry—we confront because we love Jesus and his Bride. Moving Forward: Church renewal is rarely possible until someone leaves—or loses their grip. The path to revitalization almost always passes through painful confrontation. But the reward is worth it: a church free to grow, a people unshackled from fear, and a pastor no longer under the thumb of intimidation. So preach Christ. Warn with wisdom. Call out dysfunction. And remember—you’re not alone. Christ is with you. And the power that raised him from the dead is the same power that can break the grip of every bully in the pew. Stand firm, pastor. Be clear. Be Christlike. Be courageous.  In the middle of ministry storms—whether it's staff tension, a surprise resignation, or some unexpected firestorm—how a leader asks questions can either restore calm or stir more chaos. As pastors and leaders, our posture in these moments matters more than we think.
Too often, the stress of uncertainty pushes us into fear-based leadership. We default to control, interrogate decisions, and protect our ego. But Jesus-style leadership doesn’t posture with suspicion—it moves with trust, curiosity, and grace. Let’s unpack two radically different approaches to inquiry in crisis: aggressive inquiry and gentle inquiry. Aggressive Inquiry: Fear Wearing the Mask of Authority: We’ve all seen it. Leaders feel out of the loop and assume the worst. Questions become weapons:
This is not servant leadership—it’s self-protection in a collar. Gentle Inquiry: The Posture of Curiosity and Trust: Gentle inquiry doesn't mean we don’t ask questions—it means we ask from a place of security, trust, and maturity. These questions sound different:
Instead of fear, this creates:
Gentle inquiry says: “I trust you. I’m with you. Let’s figure this out together.” Why It Matters: Shepherds, Not Gatekeepers At the heart of gentle inquiry is the biblical call to shepherd. We’re not bouncers at the door of ministry decisions—we’re under-shepherds pointing others to Jesus. We model his gentleness, even in crisis. In seasons of disruption, we have a choice:
Gentle inquiry is the higher road. It's the Jesus road. Let’s lead like Jesus. Let’s ask better questions—with open hands, not clenched fists. Questions for Personal Reflection Before your next staff meeting or hard conversation, take a moment to reflect:
What would it look like to lead with gentleness today? How can I mirror Christ’s posture in my tone, words, and reactions?   I used to wish this for the long term declined churches: simple solutions for complex problems which could be enacted in short order, with little sacrifice, low cost and the payoff guaranteed.
You and I (dear reader) know that's all fantasy. That alone is the reason churches (read the people who lead and participate in them) struggle to make the necessary commitments to embrace and pursue change. Often, when I meet with a decades long declining church, the dear sweet congregants express their longing for the revitalization of their beloved church. I love that they care so deeply about seeing their church reach people. But often the initial thoughts of what might “fix” their church fall along two categories:
You hear it it in their expressions and confessions; “We just need to __________” “If we can just get ____________ then we'll grow" “People these days just don’t want to _____________” “Our world has become so _____________________” “If we could just go back to _____________________” I don’t doubt that behind these expressions are the desires of hearts that genuinely want to see their church grow, people to come to faith in Christ and experience transformation. And when I hear them, I also know there is work to do, often a lot of work. Look at the Data - What Works and What Doesn’t I should confess, I’ve become a bit of a data nerd, saying that with the utmost respect to actual data nerds. I love new ideas, initiatives and bold experiments - let’s do them! But let’s also measure their effectiveness. I’ve been around long enough to sniff out the church consultant/church growth strategist hype and marketing pitches that over promise and under deliver. When I see their ads for free guides on the socials, I sign up, and then unsubscribe of course so I won’t continually be bombarded by their marketing ploys. What I receive is usually the same old recycled craft ranging from marketing and promotion, to light demographic analysis, to social media strategy to tips for better sermons that have nothing to do with actually growing in your ability to exegete a text. Rarely anything on prayer, nothing on mobilizing missionaries and training them to actually build relationships with non-Christians and share their Jesus story. The material looks great on the surface, it’s eye-catching, it’s polished, the spokesperson looks great, hip, trendy, correctly be-spectacled and be-sneakered with the latest kicks. You get the idea. But does any of that really work? Does the data bear out? Not really. Recognize This:one off simple solutions sound good but don’t work well on their own. I had the opportunity to do some consultant work for a state convention and one of the resources we produced was the chart below, check it out. The main point here is that if you’re doing a thing, one thing or even a few things - they may not (likely won’t) lead to lasting change. You may see some fruit - I hope you do - but these things alone, by themselves do not turn a church around. Engage and Execute the Basics in Your Context I have a Pastor friend who now serves as an Association leader. When he was revitalizing a church in a very non-churched culture and difficult ministry setting he remarked; “It’s really about the basics: prayer, teaching God’s word, getting to know people who are not Christians, sharing your faith, discipling the congregation and serving the community. And, raising up leaders and mobilizing your people to do that along with you." Refreshingly simple, hard to do (not in that it is complicated but that it’s definitely work) and the best news of all, it works in every context. Read that again; it works in every context. If your church is in decline you’ll need a plan, you’ll need to avoid the trap of expecting quick solutions and you’ll need to be ready to work, hard, for a long period of time. I think you can do it. How about starting today? QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION
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