This article was written by Bill Easum, long time Pastor and Church consultant. It can be found on the web in other places.

​Throughout all of my consulting ministry, I have seen a disturbing pattern ... most established churches are held hostage by one or two bullies. Some individual or small group of individuals are usually extremely opposed to the church making any radical change, even if it means the change would give the church a chance to thrive once again. I keep hearing pastors say, "If I tried that, I'd lose my job!"

Courageous pastors often ask, "What do I do when one person intimidates the church so much that it is not willing to try something new?" My response is always, "Either convert them, neutralize them, kick them out, or kill them. The Body can not live with cancer." To which someone usually cries, "That's not very Christian!"

My response describes much of the wisdom of both the Old Testament and Jesus. Maturing Christians love so deeply that they will do anything, even not being nice, "for the sake of the Gospel. Jesus was so compassionate toward others that he could not remain quiet when he saw people holding other people in bondage.

The Old Testament story of the wilderness wanderings contains a remarkable account of how Moses responded to a group of people who insisted on keeping the Hebrews bondage to the past .1 A group of people led by Korah came to Moses asking him to relinquish leadership because they wanted to take the Hebrews back to Egypt. Moses responded by falling on his face prostrate before them in prayer. Then he got up and slew all of them. Not very nice, but necessary if they were going to get to Canaan. Moses knew that freedom with God was better than slavery with Pharaoh. The same is true today... freedom to grow in grace is always better than enslavement to the status quo.

Almost every struggling church has at least one dysfunctional bully who goes out of the way to be a big fish in a small pond. Often, that is the primary reason the church is struggling. This person gets his/her sense of self-worth by keeping the church so intimidated, either by their actions or their money, that very little can happen without that person's approval. The sad thing is most of the leaders know that this person is a stumbling block to the church's' future and they will not do anything about it. The church leaders ignore the bully thinking that is the Christian thing to do, and in so doing, assist in the stunted growth or death of the congregation.

For example, I was working with a staff in a large church. The first day I met with the staff the tension was so high I could cut the air with a knife. The staff hardly said a word to one another. The next day when we met the staff laughed and cut up together as if they were one big happy family. As I looked around the table, the only apparent difference was that one staff person was not present. I asked the staff if they sensed the difference I was feeling. They knew exactly what I meant. Finally one of them blurted out, "Jim is not here today. Staff meetings are always better when he's not here." It turned out that Jim was a dysfunctional bully who ran to the personnel committee every time he didn't get his way. Because of him several competent staff members had been fired. To make matters worse, the staff knew that Jim seldom contributed anything to the health and vitality of the church.

I asked the staff if they had confronted Jim with how they felt. Their response was typical for church folks. "That would not be the Christian thing to do. It would hurt him deeply. After all, the church is all he has." Sure, it's all that he has; no one else would put up with him. Who is the most dysfunctional, Jim or the staff?

A church not far from me told its Bishop that it wanted a young pastor. It wasn't long before they got one. One of the first things the young pastor did was ask the Board to change the appearance of the church newspaper. The Board unanimously voted to do so. Four months later, I noticed the newspaper was switched back to its old form. I called the pastor to ask why. His response is a classic. "Most of the Board were present the night we voted. However, one man was out of the country. When he returned to find that a decision had been made in his absence, he demanded that the chairperson immediately call another meeting. At the second meeting, the Board voted unanimously to rescind their previous decision about the newspaper." When I asked why, he replied: "This man always pays off any deficit at the end of year and he wanted the vote changed. The Board was afraid to buck him." The future of that church was held hostage to a bully.

I'm convinced that one of the main sins of the established church is that we have taught ourselves to be nice instead of being Christian. In spite of aspiring to be a disciple of Jesus, we teach that the essence of Christianity is to be nice. Where do we get such a notion? Certainly not from the actions of Jesus.

One of the hallmarks of Jesus's ministry was his constant attack on the status quo. He challenged it every time he could. He even went out of his way to upset the religious bullies of his time. He called them "white sepulchers" and by doing so attacked the very heart of their priesthood based on purity.2 Jesus loved church leaders too much to allow them remain such small persons. When Peter showed his displeasure over the impending death of his Lord, Jesus said to him "Get behind me Satan."3 Jesus loved his disciples too much to let them miss one of the more important lessons of servanthood. Jesus, the man who said, "be compassionate as God is compassionate,"4 had no desire to be nice because ...being nice has nothing to do with being Christian. Being nice is often nothing more than a lack of compassion for people. Let's explore what this means.

At one point, in a holy rage, Jesus entered the Temple with a large, metal-tipped whip and drove out the money changers. As he did, he quipped, "It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but you have made it a den of thieves."5 If we discover why Jesus responded to religious bullies this way, we will also discover why so many church leaders refuse to follow his example.

When Jesus cleansed the temple he was in the Court of the Gentiles. This was the only part of the temple where gentiles were allowed to worship. What ticked Jesus off was that the religious leaders were using the only place gentiles could worship God as the place to sell their wares. What was to be a place of spiritual discovery and worship for the gentiles, was turned into an economic opportunity for the religious leaders. (Sound familiar?) The focus of the religious leaders was on themselves, not the spiritual vitality of the gentiles. So he drove them out.

Therefore, thieves are those who do religious things for their own purpose. So when we are doing things that only benefit those within the church, we become a den of thieves. When we say that we want it this way because it has always been this way, we are a den of thieves. We when focus on only the needs of our members, we are robbing the community of a chance to join us in our journey of faith. Such action is intolerable for people of compassion and love.
Church leaders are robbing people of their spiritual birthright when they allow dysfunctional people to sell their petty wares in the house of God rather than to proclaim release from bondage. We really need to get clear on this problem and do something about. If we really love people, and if we really want them to experience the love of God, then we will not ever allow the bully to rob others of their spiritual birthright. Anyone who knows how family systems work,
knows that the worst thing one can do with dysfunctional people is to give them more attention by giving into their every whim. Instead, tough love has to be applied. The compassionate thing to do is to hold them accountable for their self-centered actions for in doing so they may begin the journey with God.

Jesus shows us what to do with people who do not want to grow spiritually. In training his disciples how to spread the word of God's love, he told the disciples to "shake off the dust of your feet" when they encountered people who did not receive them graciously.6 Jesus loved people too much to let anything slow down the process of setting people free from their bondage whatever it is.

People who would rather be nice than Christian do not love enough. They do not have enough compassion. Instead, they are afraid of hurting someone or of being hurt. Remember, fear is the opposite of love. "Perfect love casts out all fear."7

If we really cared about people, we would not allow anyone to bully others into submission, instead we would want every person to feel free enough to express their hopes and dreams, to stretch their wings, and to reach their God-given potential. If we really loved people, we would not base our decisions on whether or not people would like us for those decisions. Being nice or being liked is never a goal for followers of Jesus.

What does being nice accomplish in the church?

• more dysfunctional people
• fewer spiritual giants
• an intimidated congregation
• an inability to spread the Gospel
• little hope of renewal or growth
• discouraged church leaders.
  
  

Being nice is not what Jesus wants from any of us.

One of the basic lessons I'm learning as a consultant is that before renewal begins in a church or denomination, it is normal that someone has to leave or be denied. Almost every time a dying church attempts to thrive once again, someone tries to bully the leadership out of the attempt. And almost every time, if a turn around is to take place, such persons are lost along the way because they are no longer allowed to get their way. When they can't get their way, they leave. Not even Jesus got through the journey with all of their disciples. Why should we expect too?
This does not mean that we should set out to intimate the bully or to kick people out of the church. It does mean that we care enough about the future of our church not to allow anyone to stifle its ability to liberate people from bondage or victimization. It means that we care enough about the bully that we will not allow the bully to intimate the church because we know the spiritual vitality of both the bully and the church is at stake.

Matthew 18 gives us a formula for dealing with the dysfunctional bully. First, an individual privately confronts the person with what he/she is doing and asks the person to stop. If this doesn't achieve positive results, two or more people are to confront the person. If this does not resolve the matter, the person is to be brought before the entire church. Listen again to the not- so-nice words of Jesus. "And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican." In other words, withdraw from that person's presence, or in our case rem ove that person from office! Never, ever, allow such a person to dictate the direction of the church.8
​
The next time someone in your church attempts to intimidate or bully the church out of taking a positive step forward, go to God in prayer, and then get out the metal-tipped whip and drive that person out of the church....of course in love.9
______________
1 Numbers 16

1. 2  Matthew 23:27
2. 3  Matthew 16:23
3. 4  Luke 6:36
4. 5  Matthew 21:13
5. 6  Matthew 10:14
6. 7  I John 4:18
7. 8  Matthew 18:17
8. 9  For more on how to do this, see William M. Easum, Sacred Cows Make Gourmet Burgers
   (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1995.) 

Pastors, thank you. 

Your presence in the hospital room following a great tragedy brought comfort. 

You spoke truth through challenging words across the restaurant table - waking us up from our spiritual stupor.

You walked with couples through infertility, infidelity and disconnection, you pointed them to Jesus and led them in prayer and confession.

You’ve missed gatherings, parties, events, and sacrificed your weekends to pray and prepare for our Lord’s day gatherings.

You’ve dedicated our children, married our young adults, baptized new believers and buried our older friends.

You led us to pursue the lost, communicate the gospel.

You challenged us to meet the needs of  the orphan, alien, and widow.

You patiently endured congregational criticisms and whisper campaigns.

You’ve lost friends, staff and have endured seasons of loneliness while remaining faithful to our congregation. 

You stayed in this place to be our shepherd when you could have gone elsewhere.

You’ve navigated several election seasons, always leading us with grace and truth - emphasizing, one Lord, one faith, one baptism.

You feel the weight of caring for the flock - 24/7.

Your tear stained face and fervent prayers may not be known but they are felt.

You don’t work for the applause of people - though you often wonder if your prayers, labor and ministry are helping us follow Jesus.

They are.

Thank you Pastor, thank you.

​

Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. For the joy that lay before him, he endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:1-3
 
There are many Pastors who are feeling the weight of of ministry and are likely beyond exhausted, physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. In the past month I’ve heard my pastor friends say these things:
 
“I’m ready to quit.”
“I don’t know how much longer I can keep going.”
“If one more family leaves over ____________ I’m not sure our church will be able to survive financially.”
“I’m not going to abandon the church now, but when this season is over, I’m planning on resigning.”
“I’m depressed, discouraged and feel like a failure.”
 
When I pastored I said similar things. When I led in difficult seasons I thought about them, regularly. We should acknowledge that some of our brothers and the churches they pastor are growing and thriving, we can rejoice and be thankful for that-we can also confess that many are not, in fact they may be the majority.
 
Brother Pastor, let me encourage you to keep running and endure. The writer of Hebrews offers us a great exhortation to keep going, even when things are difficult.
 
Consider the Example of Others
History is replete with the stories of missionaries and pastors who labored faithfully over years, often at great costs and with great hardships, while not seeing great numbers of conversions.  Consider the life of Adoniram Judson, who after four decades of ministry in Burma, could count, at best, twenty-five converts to Christ. In that same timeframe he buried two wives, six children, and eleven co-workers. By God’s grace, the gospel took hold and the number of converts tracing their faith to his work now number in the millions.
 
Lay Aside Hindrances
What are the things that hinder your joy, undermine your devotion and slow your ministry? Could it be an expectation or desire to be successful by a certain standard which now has you second guessing your call or feeling frustrated? Are you facing real emotional challenges that would benefit from counseling, medical examination or medication? Are you watching and listening to other Pastors and comparing yourself to them? Are you following the advice of consultants who peddle quick solutions for churches in crisis who have never led a church during a season like this? Do the work of prayerful reflection and set aside whatever things the Lord reveals are hindering your race.
 
Mortify Sin
Sustained discouragement in the life of a Christian, especially a Pastor can become an incubator for sin. Our desires can slowly over time skew toward self-we want to feel different, be happy, feel successful. Our desire to feel good, experience success, and enjoy personal fulfillment can become an obsessive quest. We each have sins that are prone to ensnare our hearts, minds and hands. Know the specific sins that could take you out and ask the Lord to deaden you to them.
 
Run Your Race
God calls each of us to the same ministry of proclaiming the gospel and making disciples who make disciples. But his call to each of us is unique to a certain context. I served in an affluent, highly educated, extremely progressive and gospel resistant city. You may serve in a sparsely populated conservative rural county. We each have a race that lies before us-one that is very different. I’m called to faithfully run mine and you yours. I may think your race looks easier and want to abandon mine-but I must finish the race God has laid before me.
 
Keep Looking at Jesus
I ran long distance on the track team when I was much younger, I did not run well at all. I like to say now that the only time I run is when I’m scared or in danger-which means I don’t run much! In my track days I struggled to run effectively because I was focused not on the finish line but my pain. Pastor, what are you focusing on as you run the race God has put before you? My experience reminds me that when I focus on the pain of my race and not on Jesus, who is the author and perfecter of my faith, who successfully ran his race to the cross I will struggle and want to quit running.
 
 
The race is not over brother Pastor, let’s keep running and keep our eyes fixed on Jesus.